Applying Community

There are a wide range of opportunities to dive into Christian community. Belonging to a gospel-centered local church and attending Sunday service each week is essential for practicing regular gathering and shared devotion. Attending a community group (sometimes called “small group”) in which the sermon is discussed is another example of Christian community. Throughout the week, you can meet with your family or roommates for prayer, or you can gather with Christian coworkers to read the Bible during lunch.

In addition to these, we recommend gathering with 2-3 other Christians every week in a discipleship group: a single-gender group that gathers for a time of reading the Bible, praying, and practicing accountability. A formal meeting like this ensures you are in a regular rhythm of Christian community.

If you are not already in a discipleship group, think of a few Christians who attend your church with whom you can meet once a week. You can use the “L.E.A.D.” acronym to guide your time together. “L.E.A.D” stands for life, encouragement, accountability, and devotion. You don’t have to go through these four elements in sequence, but each should be present at some point in all of your discipleship group gatherings. This acronym also serves as a reminder that the purpose of discipleship group is to lead one another into Christlikeness.

LIFE

Simply put, your discipleship group should know what is going on in your life. It’s impossible for everyone in your church to know your struggles and joys, how your family is doing, how your job is going, and other life events. But it’s certainly possible for a few people in your discipleship group to know all these things. While you should aim to be open and honest with all believers, your discipleship group is the primary community with whom you share your whole self. As Paul writes: “We were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us” (1 Thessalonians 2:8).

Being fully known by a few people keeps you from the dangers of isolation. In isolation, sins can be concealed, suffering can be unbearable, and the enemy’s lies can be overwhelming. But deep community brings sins to the light, shares the burden of your suffering, and silences lies with the truth of God’s Word. To work toward this kind of knowledge of one another, ask one another “life” questions like this:

What happened this week that we can celebrate with you?
What happened this week that we can pray about right now?
How is work or school going?
How is your relationship with your spouse or roommates?
What is bothering you most right now?
What are you enjoying most right now?

ENCOURAGEMENT

Discipleship group is a time for reminding one another of God’s grace. As followers of Jesus in a broken world, we are all prone to forget God’s grace, to grow weary of doing good, and to fall into a pit of discouragement. Remember, Christians are not self-sufficient spiritual all-stars. We desperately need God and his people to encourage us in the race. We are called to play an active role in encouraging our brothers and sisters in Christ whenever they grow weary. That’s why Paul instructs the church: “And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all” (1 Thessalonians 5:14).

When someone shares their burdens, respond with gospel encouragement and speak words of Scripture to them in a personal way. The best encouragement comes straight from God’s Word, not from your opinions. Here are some examples of ways you can encourage your discipleship group:

If someone is weary, encourage them: “You don’t have to be weary in your work, because there is a resurrection coming. Remember 1 Corinthians 15:58: ‘Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.’”
If someone is hopeless, encourage them: “Remember the truth of Romans 5:5 — hope will not put you to shame because God’s love has been poured into your heart through the Holy Spirit.”
If someone is suffering, encourage them: “I want to remind you that you’re not alone. 2 Corinthians 1:4 says that the Holy Spirit is with you to comfort you in all your afflictions, and we are here to bear your burdens alongside you.”

ACCOUNTABILITY

The true test of biblical community is that you not only encourage when someone is disheartened — you also rebuke when someone is deceived. Discipleship group is the place where you exhort one another every day so that no one is “hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13). Because the Scriptures call us to watch out for one another, we must break through the cultural category of “private matters” and ask one another deep, soul-searching questions. As the author of Hebrews writes, “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; that no one is sexually immoral or unholy …” (Hebrews 12:15-16).

It can be uncomfortable to ask one another hard questions, but the gospel compels us to endure discomfort for the sake of your community. Just as Jesus endured excruciating pain in order to save us from sin, you are called to endure the discomfort of accountability in order to keep your community away from sin.

Ask about specific sin struggles that members in your group face like

lust: including pornography, masturbation, and fornication
greed: including materialism, over-shopping, and stinginess
pride: including comparison, boasting, and selfishness

Ask about their devotional life:

Are you reading the Bible and praying daily?
Are you enjoying God during your time with him?
Is your heart fueled by grace or a legalistic spirit?

Ask about their marriage or friendships:

Are you remaining totally faithful to your spouse in your thoughts and actions?
Are you serving and cherishing your spouse and family, or are you neglecting them?
Are you loving and serving your roommates, or are you harboring anger or frustration against them?

Ask about their obedience to God:

Did you follow through on the step of obedience that you resolved to take last week?
Is there anything God is calling you to do that you haven’t done yet?
Is there anything that you need to confess to us that you haven’t yet?

DEVOTION

What your discipleship group needs most is not merely to hear from one another, but to hear from God in his Word, not merely to pour out your problems to one another, but to pour out your heart to God in prayer. Your discipleship group meeting should always happen with your Bibles open and your hearts open to God in prayer.

Begin your time by reading the Word, and go back again and again so that your entire conversation is saturated with the Scriptures. Don’t just merely open and close your time together in prayer, but interrupt your conversation by bringing praises, concerns, and intercessions to God in prayer. Always refer back to the Scriptures as you are encouraging one another or rebuking one another. Your group will experience the transformation of the gospel to the degree that God is in your discipleship group through his Word and through prayer.